A month ago I had a baby*. It’s hard to get out of the house with a newborn, but when we do, the world feels more vibrant, brighter than I remember it being before the baby’s arrival. The first time I left, I was shocked by what I saw — there were people, and they were doing things, and there were coffee shops and drugstores and cars and I couldn’t believe the world hadn’t stopped for us.
Anyway, there are lots of stories I could tell about the past month, but I’m inspired by Libba Bray’s post on kindness today.
Real talk: the first week after giving birth is brutal. In retrospect, I feel like I was in shock, in the medical sense. I was in physical pain, which also doesn’t help, and I hadn’t had a proper night’s sleep in four days (since two nights before going into labor), so I was exhausted and terrifyingly resigned to the fact that I would be more exhausted as the days went on. Hormones were (are) crashing into every part of me, leaving me feeling like an alien in my own body. I am only just now beginning to feel like parts of myself have returned, commingling with all the new parts.
And of course, most pressingly, there was this…creature I had to take care of. This beautiful, fragile stranger that needed things from me. And I had no idea how to provide most of those things.
And this is where kindness matters. Because so many people have been so kind that many days, my tears are tears of gratitude. There are too many acts of kindness to list here, but most of them were simple, easy things that made all the difference. An old friend from childhood, for example, sent me an email that, quite frankly, saved my sanity. It was out of the blue (we don’t email much) but it came at the perfect time and was exactly what I needed to hear. Other friends dropped off baby things they no longer needed; almost daily, gifts arrived. People texted and messaged with offers of help and words of advice, and people visited for just the right amount of time.
Next week is Thanksgiving (my favorite holiday, but also, how is it Thanksgiving already?) and as I raise my glass at a gorgeous meal, I’ll be acknowledging the kindness of family and friends (and, sometimes, perfect strangers) who have helped me. Among many other things, the first few weeks of having a newborn are a lesson in accepting and asking for support, and finding grace somewhere in the messy whirlwind of the day.
Happy Thanksgiving, friends.
* Baby’s online code name is Leia. As in Princess. (My husband is a Star Wars fan. I’ve seen it once, at his urging.) If I reference Leia in future posts, I’m talking about my daughter.